Text Your Ex Back Examples: What To Text Your Ex To Get Them Back

Woman textingIf you’ve heard anything at all about Michael Fiore’s revolutionary program for fixing broken relationships, you’ll probably want a few Text Your Ex Back examples. One or two texts that you could use on your ex to figure out if this is going to work for you.

Of course you need to know what to text your ex to get her back – or him. We’ll give you some examples from Text Your Ex Back style messages in the sections below, but there is a very important warning that goes with this:

Timing Matters!

WHEN you send a text is just as important as WHAT you send. If you want to know how to win someone back, it’s not just a question of sending the special texts to get your ex back one after another, bombarding your estranged partner with SMS messages.

That will only drive them further away – even if the messages are perfectly crafted.

Patience is vital here and you must be prepared to stick to a strict timetable which Michael explains inside the system. If you want to try it for yourself now, you can get all of the details at the official website.

So with that said, let’s move on to a few example texts that you could send with the aim of winning back your ex – and keeping them forever!

Examples of ‘Across The Bow’ Texts

The phrase ‘across the bow’ comes from the days of sailing ships and the battle for supremacy of the seas. If a battleship encountered a foreign or suspicious ship, it would fire a warning shot across the front (the bow) of the other ship, doing no damage, as a ‘wake-up call’. It’s just like the police firing a shot into the air to warn people that they’re prepared to use their guns.

Of course with your ex the aim is not to threaten them with a text message, but to remind them that you’re still around and interested in them in a friendly way. It should be sent after you haven’t been in touch with your ex at all for a while.

The word ‘friendly’ there is very important! You’re not asking for anything in this text. No suggestions of meeting up or talking on the phone. The idea is to remind them of times when you were happy together, and maybe start a text conversation. For example:

Just saw [movie name]. I think you’d like it, it reminded me of the time we saw [other movie name] and how much we laughed!

Stuck in traffic, driving me crazy! Stopped right next to a [ex’s model of car] and it reminded me of you. Made me smile. Hope yours is still on the road!

You can see more Across The Bow text examples here.

You’ll see there are no demands, not even any questions in this kind of message. It’s easy for your ex to reply if they want to (they can thank you for the movie recommendation or tell you how their car is doing) but they don’t have to.

Weirdly, this makes it more likely that they will reply. If you said, “Is your car still on the road?” it might feel like you were trying to get some kind of hold on their life again. Of course you are, but you’ll only drive them away by asking questions. Wait for them to volunteer information.

If your ex doesn’t reply to your first text, you’ll need that patience again before sending anything else!

Making Your Ex Curious

Another thing that you can easily do in text messages (because they are so short) is to make your ex curious about what you are doing now. As soon as they start wondering what you are doing, they are getting interested in you again.

The way to do this is simply not to give too much information in your texts.

So with the movie example that we gave a moment ago, you wouldn’t tell them who you saw that movie with, or where you saw it. Let your ex wonder about that.

Here are some more sample texts that might help you win someone back:

Waiting for a plane – exciting times! Hope you’re doing well.

(You don’t tell them where you’re going or what’s exciting about it)

Hey – hope things are going well for you. Do you happen to remember the name of that restaurant where we had the amazing clams?

(Make them wonder who you’re going to dinner with)

As you can see from that last example, if you want to make your ex jealous, the way to do it is not to talk on and on about what a hot/smart/successful person your new date is, but just hint very vaguely that you might be seeing someone. We’ve got more about this in our article on how to make your ex girlfriend jealous. A lot of those tips will work for an ex boyfriend too.

The aim of all of these text messages is to start a conversation on a non-intrusive, friendly level. So you’ll see from the examples above, there’s never any suggestion of the emotional baggage that you might be carrying. You don’t say anything about meeting up; you don’t hint that you miss your ex.

The most important thing to remember when you are sending text messages to get your ex back is that anything demanding or emotional may make your ex run in the opposite direction. You need to take a step back so that they can become interested in you again – like at the beginning of your relationship.


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Next post: Text Your Ex Back Reviews: Video by Jennifer

42 thoughts on “Text Your Ex Back Examples: What To Text Your Ex To Get Them Back

  1. Michael

    we both got different places she moved in with a roommate I have an apartment of my own but after this time and during this time we were still intimate time together but she wasn’t ready to work on us I miss her too I think she’s in another relationship but I believe it’s a rebound thing I want it back so bad I remember we were talking and I was telling her how much I wanted to be together and she honestly told me I will not continue to see you if you tell me those things I guess you wasn’t ready to hear how much I cared about her the bag and was a fleeting she would rather I asked how was her day or something like that I think about her all the time I truly miss her I love her even thought of marriage we thought of having a child together we always talked about what we would call her and how was she was just so up so pretty we wanted to share a daughter together I wonder if there’s any way possible that I could win this woman that I’m truly sad without her but I know I must live my life as well any advice

  2. mark s

    Hi there, I love these discussions. Can I suggest a new app I created called ExTexter? At the very least you can practice texting your ex with ExTexter but also get real results based on your unique relationship and breakup from a real person. Virtually text your ex for closure, answers, venting or even ask for a booty call all without the risk of any more hurt, rejection or pain. Thank you and I wish you healing

  3. Dave

    Me and my ex split up few months ago but stayed in touch texts phone calls and seeing each other
    The problems wasn’t in the relationship they were from outside and she didn’t have the head space at the time for committed relationship and problems still going on would text ur ex back work for me or anything else

      1. Philip

        My fiance and I was in an LDR fo 3yrs. We had visa approved for 1yr and sge said she needed time. During this time we saw each other 5 times. She broke it off 3 weeks ago saying things are not working and then disappeared. A few das before breaking it off we were in conversation of completing visa process and her moving here in February. We have spoke a few times on the phone and had some emails. I acting like the typical person txting and caling. She said we are done and to stop contacting her. She is 30yrs old, im 37. We have broken up in the past but after a week or so she was contacting me. What do i do here?

        1. Jennie Hernandez Post author

          You would do the 30 days no contact. It sounds like she has decided she doesn’t want to move, or at least not right now. I don’t know what the visa situation is and whether you could get it later if you don’t take it up now, but either way, if she has said she doesn’t want you to contact her for now, you need to respect that.

          1. Philip

            The visa can expire. I didnt contact her for 2 days and she sent me a msg saying i hope you are doing good. I responded saying im doing good and never heard back. She then called me saying we need to move on with our lives. She brought up the past of how the vusa process took to long. She did this last summer and we were in contact every day. When she broke it off this time she did it in an email and then blocked me from everything for 10 days. I do not understand this behavior. After the 30 days of NC should i send an across the bow text? I do not understand how 1 day i love you cnt wait to be married and now complete silence. I do not kniw what to make of this situation.

          2. Jennie Hernandez Post author

            Yes, it sounds weird to me, too. But there is no way to know what is going on. It is better not to try to guess. Yes, you can send an across the bow text after 30 days of NC … if you still want to at that time.

          3. Philip

            I was right. She left me for another guy. I just saw on facebook. How can a woman say they love you and cant wait to get married. Then 2 weeks later in a relationship?

          4. Philip

            Hi. After i found she was in a new rellationship, at least it says that on facbook. I didnt contact her. Se contacted me 2 days ago asking to go on a vacation in March. What do i do?

          5. Jennie Hernandez Post author

            Is this a vacation you would pay for? Or does she plan to visit you and pay for her ticket herself?

            It’s up to you what you do, of course, but I would be very cautious at this point.

          6. Philip

            She doesnt make a lot of money. So she would buy her ticket here and then I would by the tickets for the vacation.
            Not sure what to make of this. I asked her if she was in a relationship and she didnt say anything. I asked her a few other questions and she said I dont like your questions, lets talk about something else. She called today and was nice on the phone and talked about her mom and work. I sent her txt a few hours later saying i was going shopping a d she said get me something nice i will see you soon. I said what for. She said vaentines day. Do you think she is using me?

          7. Jennie Hernandez Post author

            I really don’t know, Philip. It sure raises some red flags in my mind. She broke up with you, but she still wants to go on vacation with you? Can you be sure she would show up for the vacation?

            If you want to see her, maybe she could just visit your city without the whole vacation thing?

            In your position I would be asking myself what will it be like being married to this person…?

          8. Philip

            So we have been talking all week and I got her ticets to come here. She was nice wishing sweet dreams the past few days. Today she wont answer the phone and just responded to 1 text saying she had a busy day. I sent a few more text messages and she reads them and wont reespond. What do i do?
            Im starting to think she now will not come. The flight is 5 March. Do i just give her space? When should i contact her again?

          9. Jennie Hernandez Post author

            Yes, I would give her space. It sounds like you are phoning and texting a lot. The time when you will get things straightened out is not now, but when she’s with you – assuming that she does come. If she doesn’t come, that will tell you something in itself. Until then you could rein back the texting a little bit.

          10. Philip

            We have been having great conversations and talking on video chat a few times. But the last 3 nights i never hear from her. In the past she always would write. Now she is not even reading a msg i send her. We still have the tickets for her to come here but have not talked about her coming. She is suppose to come on 5 March. How should i approach the situation? Do i talk about us, feelings, relationship? Or should i just come out and ask if she is coming? On this guys fb page it says they are in a relationship but on hers it says nothing. Im lost here and she still has everything we did on fb to include some pictures of me.

          11. Jennie Hernandez Post author

            If I were in your situation, Philip, I would assume she is coming unless you hear otherwise. If you keep asking, it sounds like you don’t trust her to do what she has said she will do. (Maybe you don’t, and that wouldn’t be unreasonable, but nothing is gained by showing this.)

            I’d leave plans as open as you can. If there’s stuff you need to know, then I would ask that specific question, like “Do you want to go to X while you are here?” But don’t commit a lot of money by paying for stuff that you won’t need if she doesn’t show.

            I think I’ve said before that I’d leave the discussion of the relationship until she arrives. I don’t think it will improve the relationship to bring all of that up now when you (hopefully) have a chance of talking about it in person when she visits. Putting that kind of pressure on her now will only make her less likely to want to come. But it’s up to you.

            Regarding the other guy and his FB. The way to ask about that, without accusing her of anything, is to say, “Did you know this guy is saying on FB that he’s in a relationship with you?” That’s the best way to open a blame-free discussion of the situation. But again I would do it when she visits, if you can.

            I hope you will have a relationship that makes you happy, whether it is this one or another.

          12. Philip

            we have been having great converations and good texting back n forth all week. A few hours ago i texted her if she was coming on Sunday. She read the msg. She read and ignore the question. This is the 2nd time i have asked in 4 days with no response. Reality is starting to set in of her not coming. 🙁
            Any advice for between now and Sunday? Continue with normal conversation or just ignore her?

          13. Philip

            Hi, here is update of my situation. She did not come because of illness and asked me to change her tickets to April. She is still dating this guy but she calls,me everyday but wont talk at night, only 3-5 txt msgs.. She has told me she is going to end the dating with him but the guy bought a vacation for them. She told me she is tryng to figure out hiw to get out of it. She has expressed she doesnt want to go and wants to come to me on 17 April. What do i do here. The guy she is fating went through her phone, remived friends from her fb, saw our msgs, and txt me stating they are living together. She denied they are living together and that he is controlling her. What do i do in this situation?

          14. Jennie Hernandez Post author

            What outcome do you want? What would be your ideal situation one month from now, and one year from now?

        2. Philip

          Yesterday we talked for 20 minutes. I asked her if started packing her bags and she said yes. Then joking said for Ausrailia. She said she wasin a bad mood because of her sister so we ended the call. We texted a little during the day. But when it is night time past 10pm her time se never texts back. I do not understand this and im starting to feel she is with a guy every night. I feel if i stop contacting she wont even contact me. She has said nothing about the trip. If she does not come im ready to let go emotionally. I just dont understad why she goes cold in the evening time. She once told me that if i stopped contacing her then it would tell her im not interested anymore.. What do I do?

          1. Philip

            She never came because she got sick with shingles. She is using travelers insurance to get refund for the tickets. I stopped contacting her but she calls me every day. She said she is dating this guy but is going to end it. What do i do in this situation? I feel emotionally drained and feel she is playing a game here.

          2. Jennie Hernandez Post author

            I can only ask you a question. Do you really want to be married to someone who treats you this way? You are engaged and she is dating another guy. People don’t change much when they get married.

          3. Philip

            Update on my situation.
            Her relationship with the new guy has continued. I went no contact and she contacted me after 4 days. We had normal conversation and i didnt ask about us, her coming here or him. She told me she was having serious problems with him and tried to end it. Anyway, for the past month she tells 1-2 times a week she misses me and wants to see me but then goes cold. I did the no contact once again and she again contacted me after 3 days. We were in a LDR and i really want to try and work this out. We still have her tickets, but what should i do here?

          4. Jennie Hernandez Post author

            Hi Philip

            That’s not no contact. If you were doing no contact you wouldn’t reply when she contacts you. But no contact is for exes and you’re not exactly in an ex situation.

            I think you could find someone so much nicer. But OK, you want this girl.

            I can see two options. (1) You can either accept she has two relationships and continue as you are, being one of her two guys. Or (2) you can give her a choice of “him or me” and break if off if she picks him (or if you find she is still seeing him after she picks you). But you would have to be willing to really end the relationship if she picked him, otherwise it’s an empty threat which only weakens your position.

            Hope that helps. Jenny

      2. Jenna

        Hi Jennie, I have a situation with a friend, that is a relationship because I love my friends too. several months ago, we were all out somewhere and friend was with a guy. At the end of the night, she told him she wouldnt sleep with him and he called her a f’ing B and hit her in front of me. I intervened by getting between the two and calming him down. Next morning she did have sex with him. I told her I thought this was a bad idea but I would support her decisions regardless. She got into a relationship with him and our friendship went downhill. I never again questioned her and why she was with him, but something was not right. A month ago, she accussed me of making passes at this same guy, then the next day, she tried to kiss me. Several days later I learned that shortly after the abuse incident she had told people she thought I was gay and had made a pass at her (not true). I told her, via email, hey, just so you are aware, I am not gay, sorry I made you feel that way. (I have never aired any of her laundry). Her response was multiple messages over a 12 hour period that were very ugly, calling me names, saying I am homophobic, saying I embarrass her, etc and IF I missed the part about her being a good person, she doesn’t want my friendship. I only responded with, please stop this, I know you are a good person and did not initiate further contact. Since then she has initiated contact several times with short texts or emails saying things like, hope you like your new house, you would be really great at this job, I heard you are not doing x, sorry to hear that, hope you have a great day. Always short, but keeps doing this, and when I respond with ‘thanks’ or hope you are well, nothing more. What gives? I am committed to my friends, and I want to be a friend if she is just working out personal things and can’t bring herself to alologize or maybe thinks I should apologize? I am not demanding an apology, but I also don’t want to initate contact if she has no interest in a friendship. Suggestions? Do I do the 30 day no contact and if she wants a friendship she will ask to meet? Do I ask her to meet now? Do I ask her to meet after 30 day no contact? Do these principles even apply to friendships.

        1. Jennie Hernandez Post author

          Jenna, the steps I’m talking about on this site are for where somebody has broken up with you. It could happen in a friendship, but it doesn’t sound to me like that’s what’s happened here. Having said that, you could try your suggestion “I do the 30 day no contact and if she wants a friendship she will ask to meet”.

          But first ask yourself what are YOU getting from this friendship? Why do you want it to continue? Is it only because ending a friendship would make you feel like a bad person?

          We tend to think that all friendships are good friendships, but this is not true. Sometimes we grow out of a friendship. Sometimes friends bring out the worst in each other instead of the best. You may have a “toxic friendship” that you (and she) are better off without.

  4. Prim

    I and my ex had a mutual breakup, we have been together for almost a year. We had a very nice time together, she has always been around me before the breakup. Not on till when we had the breakup that things turned around. Since then, she stopped coming to my place and she also stopped sending me texts or even calling me. I do send her msgs on social media, she do reply me. I cant ask her of my things back bcos, am a little bit shy of recovering some of my tins from her. I want to try the no contact rule, but am afraid if it will be of any use to her bcos, she has stopped every contact with me except i contact her before she will reply me. Am so confused abt what to do and i dont knw if she still love me. Bcos, she is displaying an attitude that she doesnt care abt me and my family anymore.

    1. Jennie Hernandez Post author

      In your situation I would want to get my belongings back. She probably doesn’t want them around, and even if she is OK with that, taking them will help her to see that she misses you. If you want to follow the no contact rule, it’s better not to see her when you collect them, however. You could ask her to pack them and leave them with a friend or family member.

      You should stop sending her the messages on social media, if you want to try no contact. No contact is exactly for the situation where she has stopped wanting to contact you. The idea is to make her curious and interested in you again. That will not happen if you are sending her messages all the time. She doesn’t have a chance to miss you, if you are always there.

      Regarding her birthday, which you mentioned in your other message to me, a quick text saying “happy birthday” would show you have remembered, without putting any pressure on her to reply. Don’t add any questions, not even “how are you?”

      Try not to guess what she is feeling. You cannot know for sure, and her feelings might be quite mixed up right now.

  5. Mukesh kumar

    My love story is very sad…first I met my girl at my school then she texted me and converstion started..after 2 months she loved me I can’t accept her love that time…she loved me truely more than 3 years but I can’t take care of her love….after 3 years we both had some fights and she stopped texting me…me also stopped texting after few months I miss her and I want her back…her friends said she s loving someone…I asked her you loving someone? She said no he’s my crush that’s all..after that my turn is started I impressed her again and she loves me back…but she not love me that force what she did before 3 years I called her daily she won’t take my call and texting me late but she says I love you darling everyday…..so I had a so many doubts what she s doing ? she s talking to other guy? That doubt made me so crazy…..she hide her lover avoided him and started love me…after 1 month I did mistake I make her angry and always had doubt on her she knows too I had doubt…one day fight goes very rudely..she said we need to breakup…I can’t accept it I said pls don’t leave me I cried alot but she won’t Care..Her friends brainwash her mind….I still saying I love you and doing like needy but she push away…but I impressed her alot no one came do these things for her…now she stopped texting and doing like not interested me…hangout with other guys if I ask we will meet? She said no…if I meet her she not talking well and got angry….I tried so many things but she’s acting like she’s happy and talking with other guys….she s always in online but not talk to me…it hurts me alot…she hanging with other guy but if ask see saying I can’t…so I’m going to try no contact rule…it does work? If she miss me? She will love me again? But if I text first and start conversation see will reply as a friend but not a lover….if I say I love you she s laughing and irritate me….I hurted alot..I’m going to do no contact rule…it Wii work or not? She will miss me or not? Please any help 🙁

    1. Jennie Hernandez Post author

      There is no way to know for sure if it will work, but I believe it has more chance of working than anything else.

      You might also want to think about what things you will do differently next time. If we go back into the same relationship with the same attitudes, then it often leads to breaking up again. No Contact will give you time and space to work on that.

      Good luck

      1. Mukesh kumar

        But if i text her she text me so fastly…if i stop conversation but she start conversation…..does she miss me…?

        1. Jennie Hernandez Post author

          She may just want to be friends with you. That’s fine for her but not what you want, so you need to change something if you want the situation to change.

    1. Jennie Hernandez Post author

      There are no guarantees but I think it has the best chance for pretty much all situations with exes.

  6. Mukesh kumar

    I gifted her one doll…and her friends Gave that doll to her and she never said i dont need this doll like that…just she take it and give one smile…(her frnds told me through mobile)

  7. Christina

    Me and my girlfriend splitted up in end of december. We have spolen very little, but she asked for coffee the first month but cancelled because she Got sick. I wrote that we shouldnt Contact because it Was too hard on me, then almost 30 days Went and she contacted me, that she Would like to Pick her Stuff, she still have some at our place where we used to live together.
    She is now coming to Pick Them up. What should I do? Can I start over with no contacting period after we meet or?

    1. Jennie Hernandez Post author

      The best would be to ask a friend or family member to be there when she comes so you don’t have to see her, or pack up her stuff and leave it with a friend for her to collect. If that’s not possible, you can do another few weeks of NC afterward, sure.

  8. Marcus

    I dated a girl for 6 months, she was amazing. I could really see myself spending the rest of my life with her. She recently broke up with me(last week) because my ex wife sent her a message saying that we were still married. I have 2 children with my ex. I reassured her that I have no intentions of ever getting back with her, but she thinks that I need to take time to mend the relationship that we have (my ex and I) for the sake of our kids, and that she would never want to get in the way of that. She texts me constantly saying that she loves me, and I really do want to be with her. Should I wait for her to contact me to rekindle our relationship, or should I reach out to her?

    1. Jennie Hernandez Post author

      That seems odd. It’s like she’s taking more notice of what your ex wants, than what you want. Maybe they are friends? Or she’s feeling bad about people thinking she’s broken up your marriage? If not, there may be some other underlying issues she isn’t talking about. You might want to give her a week or two before you reach out, and then don’t push too hard, but make it clear she’s the one you want, not your ex.

      Are you divorced or only separated? i.e. was it technically true that you are still married? If you’re not divorced yet, and you really don’t want to get back with your ex even if you didn’t have this other girl, you might want to start divorce proceedings. Make it clear to your new lady that you’re getting divorced because the marriage is over, and you want a divorce either way. The divorce isn’t because of her.

      Hope that helps


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