Want to know how to get a girl back after a breakup? Getting an ex girlfriend back is a dream that many guys have, and if you look around, you’ll see that it can come true. Many couples have gotten back together after breaking up or separating. Why not you?
So it’s possible, you need to know how or you could simply drive her further away. To get it right, check out our 5 steps to getting an ex girlfriend back.
1. Take a good look at your motivation.
When somebody ends a relationship, it’s natural for the other person to feel bad or even angry because it hurts our pride to be dumped. Some guys reading this article might only want to get their girlfriends back to save face or get revenge on her by dumping her next time around. That’s not the case with you, is it? Because if it is, forget it. Getting her back will take time and energy and it’s not worth it if that’s your only reason. You’d be better off spending that time finding somebody else.
If you really love her, on the other hand, want to spend your life with her and have her be happy and all that, then that’s cool. Keep reading.
2. Take a break.
The first thing you’ll need to do is take a break from seeing her, calling her or even texting her. I know it’s hard but it’s the most important thing you can do right now.
Relationship expert Michael Fiore recommends 30 days of no contact after a breakup. This gives her time to cool off and see what she really wants. Maybe she left you for somebody else; you have to give her time to see that the other guy’s not right for her. Maybe she was just restless; she needs time to spread her wings and realize that being single is not so great, and what she had with you was precious.
Later you can take steps to remind her (subtly) of how great your relationship was, but right now, you have to give her the space that she’s asked for by ending the relationship.
It’s natural to want to pursue her – the hunting instinct is strong – but if you go after her now, she’ll just run even further. You can’t win this battle by forcing her to do something she doesn’t want to do right now.
3. When you do get back in contact, be cool.
Another good reason for taking a 30 day break is that when you do see her or talk, you need to sound cool. Pouring out all of your emotions would put a huge pressure on her that will just push her away. Even if you try to hide your emotion, while it’s still raw she will sense it and be embarrassed by it. Women are good at sensing what a person really feels.
Never beg or plead with your ex girlfriend. Don’t cry in front of her (or in front of any of her friends). That’s NOT how to get a girl back. To make sure, never call, text or email her when you’ve been drinking. And above all, don’t stalk her. Don’t try to find out what she’s doing or who she’s seeing.
If you’ve gone through 30 days without contact, then by the time you get back in touch with her you should be able to be calm about it. That’s another reason for staying away for a while. It will help you keep your contact light and friendly at first.
4. Don’t obsess over what went wrong.
Your girlfriend may have given you a reason for the breakup or she may not. It doesn’t matter because whatever reason she said probably wasn’t her deepest reason anyway. It’s hard enough to recognize our own motivations; it’s impossible to second guess somebody else’s.
There may be something you did that you know she didn’t like. For example some guys want to get back with an ex after she left because he had an affair. In that situation, you know what went wrong but you still need to put it behind you. There’s no point promising not to do it again. That only reminds her of the pain she felt and words won’t convince her anyway.
You need to show her that it’s her you really love. That means staying faithful through the 30 day no contact period, and then slowly and patiently trying to win her back.
5. Don’t try to recreate the same old relationship.
The relationship that you had ended because there was a problem, at least from her perspective. So however perfect it seemed to you, it’s important to let it go and create a fresh new relationship with her next time around.
Sure, you can make references now and then to the good times that you had, but not in a way that says “I wish we were back there”. That’s not how to get a girl back. Remember, it wasn’t so perfect from her point of view. Look to the future, and the better, happier, longer lasting relationship that you’re going to have this time around.